Bedtime Routine

I have had numerous people (especially mom's) ask me about our routines at home- specifically how we get our kids to sleep by 7pm every night- so I decided I would dedicate this blog post to our "routines". First though, I must say that this is just what has worked for us- I am no expert!

The past 3 years of being a mom has taught me several things, but one major thing I have learned is that children LOVE routines- they THRIVE on routines! Everything goes much smoother when our children can predict what comes next throughout their day. Here is our evening schedule:

5:30pm dinner (James usually arrives home at this time and I can get dinner on the table by this time, USUALLY)

6:00pm I clean up the kitchen from dinner while James plays with the kids (usually very loud and hyper playing)

6:15pm Time to wind down. Both kids climb in the bath tub. James gives Hyrum his bath and then gets him ready for bed while I give Isa her bath.

6:30pm By this time both kids are bathed and in their pajamas. We let Isabelle choose who puts her to bed. She usually picks me, but she will pick James a couple of times ;) Isabelle is read 4-5 books and Hyrum is read 2-3 books, and rocked for about 10 minutes.

7:00pm Kids are in bed. Hyrum is asleep. Isabelle usually looks at a book or lays in her bed for about 20 minutes until she falls asleep. Hyrum is easy... he is exhausted by the end of the day and so ready for bed. He takes 1 nap during the day for about 1.75 hrs (12pm-1:45pm). Isabelle stopped taking a nap when she turned 2. I didn't fight it because she didn't have melt downs and tantrums later in the day. If you still give your toddler a nap, make sure it is earlier in the day or a later nap can be turned into an earlier bedtime.

Isabelle usually wakes up anywhere between 7:15-8:00am. This works great for me since we all have to get up and get ready for work. Hyrum wakes up closer to 8:30am.

We started doing this early bedtime routine when Isa was 10 months old. She was going to bed around 9pm and waking up 5-6 times every night. I was at my wits end so I bought a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers". I read something very surprising in there. It said,

" Numerous studies have shown that the vast majority of young children have a natural bedtime that is early in the evenings. There are exceptions, but most toddlers and preschoolers respond best with a bedtime between 6:30pm and 7:30pm. Studies have shown that a child's blood pressure, hear rate, and release of cortisol are all affected in a positive way by an early bedtime. Although it may seem backward, most children who go to bed late have more night wakings and wake up earlier in the morning. Most children will actually sleep better and longer when they go to bed earlier. While an energetic child may appear to be running on full steam until late in the evening, a toddler who stays awake until 9 or 10pm often was ready for bed many hours earlier and is up late funtioning on overdrive-usually indicated by fussiness or hyperactivity. Or he may in fact be ready for a night's sleep when he takes a late afternoon nap, which can, with a little coaxing, be adapted to become a much earlier bedtime instead. A child who is awake past the time his body calls for sleep is often grumpy and whiny, finds it difficult to fall asleep, sleeps poorly, and may even wake up too early, further compounding his own sleep problems."

The first time I read this, I thought it would never work, but I had nothing to lose so I thought I would give it a try. The book offers lots of different ideas to help your child sleep, but these are the ones we do:

-We make bedtime our priority as parents. It HAS to be a team effort where BOTH parents enforce the time for bed. This means no family outings past 7pm. If we go anywhere, we know that we must be back by bedtime for the kids. This is only compromised on July 4th when I let Isabelle stay up until about 11pm so she can see all the fireworks. James & I still get to go out on dates.. in fact it is easier for my mom to watch the kids since they are already asleep!

-We have fans in the kids' bedrooms to eliminate white noise. We have a really small house so when I would do the dishes, it would wake up Isabelle. After starting the fan in her room, she slept a lot better.

-We darken the bedrooms. Each of the kids' windows have light eliminating curtains so daylight cannot be seen. This REALLY helps during the summer months when the sun is blaring in their bedrooms at 6:30pm

-We enforce consequences. Right now this is just for Isa since Hyrum can't get out of his crib. If she gets out of her bed and leaves her room, she gets a light turned off. She currently has a night light, and a lamp that has a night light setting. She KNOWS if she comes out of her room, her lights are getting turned off.

-We have a "calming down" time 45 min. prior to bedtime. This means NO t.v. (it is very stimulating with all the lights and sounds), no rough play (this is hard for James since he hasn't seen the kids all day), and also no sugary sweets. Basically, we try to have our kids calm and peaceful so that their bodies will be more ready for sleep.

An early bedtime is wonderful for our family. It gives James and I a lot of time to be together in the evenings. I get my "no kids" time to myself. We are able to do various errands: I can go get groceries, attend church meetings, James can work from home, we can watch a movie together, etc.

The author of the book also says, "Some kids do not need an early bedtime. Watch your child the few hours before he goes to bed; is he happy and relaxed? Is he in a pleasant frame of mind during your prebedtime routine, and does he go off to bed easily? Then his bedtime routine may be right for him, even if it happens to be 10pm. If, on the other hand, your are dealing with any of the following issues, your child may be sending you a sign that his current bedtime is too late:

-Your child has a habitual evening meltdown when he is fussy and out of sorts.

-Your child gets hyperactive in the evening and finds it hard to settle down for bed.

-Even though you know he's tired, your child fights going to bed at bedtime.

-When you're in the car in the evening he often falls asleep.

-He seems almost hypnotized by the television in the evening.

-Your child has frequent temper tantrums or crying spells during his bedtime routine (while putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, etc)

-You must wake him up in the morning, and when you do, he doesn't wake easily.

If any (or all) of these apply to your child, it's very likely that his current bedtime is too late, and you would benefit from an earlier bedtime."

To get Isa on her new bedtime schedule, we simply put her down to bed 15 min. earlier every couple of nights until she reached the desired bedtime. It took around a month to be fully on the new schedule. Consistency has definitely been the key to our success. When Hyrum was born, we kept Isa on her schedule- no matter what. We even started Hyrum on the same schedule. He would get his bath and be in pajamas by 6:30-7pm. Obviously he would wake up at all times during the night to eat, but once he reached 4 mths and didn't need to eat as much, he was already on the same schedule as Isa for bedtime. It was so easy to transition him into it since we started him out right. Now I have been told SO many times that Isa is such an easy child with a very mild temperament and their child is the total opposite. I agree; Isa is a very easy child- we hardly have any resistance from her. BUT Hyrum is a totally different story. He is the opposite of his sister in every way possible. Still, he has the same bedtime and it works. As he gets older, I know that we will have to do a lot more enforcing with him as far as getting out of bed, etc. As long as we consistently enforce our consequences, all will work out :)

I hope this helps some of you moms that have been asking me for my bedtime advice! If you have any more questions, let me know. And if you want to read the book (I HIGHLY recommend it) it is "The no-cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers" by Elizabeth Pantley.

P.S. If you need help with discipline, I have lots of advice on that too. For example- My kids leave our Christmas tree alone :) It is decorated from top to bottom with breakable ornaments and beautiful bows, and not one of them has been compromised ;)